Truth Before Dishonor

I would rather be right than popular

A Satisfied Life

Posted by John Hitchcock on 2011/08/06


There is an interesting discussion on the old Rule 5 Political Style thread. It’s that conversation — along with other recently seen material — which leads to this article.

I read an article years ago, written by a bleeding-heart Liberal. Parents were forcing their kids against their will to eat peas and carrots and all sorts of horrible things like that. The parents were horrible parents for that. Because the parents were lording it over the kids, proving who’s more powerful, not caring about the kids, just being all-around child-abusing bullies. Yeah, okay. That’s straight out of the 1960s counter-culture revolution of the depraved. Remember, Liberals, never trust anyone over 30, mmkay?

When I was raising my daughter, I was much more strict than her friends’ parents. But at the same time, I gave her guidelines where she would have room to make her own informed decisions. You can read about some of that in my 2009 Raise Up A Child article. As she was growing up, she saw how her friends acted and how other children she didn’t know acted. And she saw how the parents reacted (or didn’t react). She knew at her young pre-teen age that she was glad for my discipline and guidance, just by watching “everyone else” around her. Of course, she didn’t tell me at the time because, as she told me years later, she didn’t want to encourage even more out of me.

The interesting thing, something that most all Conservatives understand but many Liberals cannot comprehend, is that those children that had less discipline and more freedom to do anything were invariably less happy and less satisfied than those children who were more strongly disciplined and had less anarchical freedom. It’s just pure logic for Conservatives and counter-intuitive to Liberals. Restrictions and punishments for bad behavior leads to happier, more well-balanced lives. Because, without those restrictions and punishments from older and wiser caregivers, people’s lives become out of control. Left-wing Hollywood provides numerous examples. Lindsay Lohan. Dana Plato. Drew Barrymore. Hayley Mills. And Miley Cyrus is heading down that path. Not enough restriction, not enough wise guidance, not enough structure. And things fall apart. (From my understanding, both Barrymore and Mills got their acts together after their mega-falls from grace. Plato is dead, Lohan may have hit bottom but may not have, Cyrus is just beginning her fall.)

Then there’s the Achievement v Handout aspect and the character traits that are built thereupon. Reading my Raise Up A Child article, you will find my daughter had many achievements and much overall success. And the inner reward from that is strong. Reading from the comments in the Rule 5 article, you will find handout-based behavior. And the resultant fits of fury are to be fully expected (that is if you’re a Conservative; Liberals, on the other hand, are totally flummoxed). A life filled with receiving handouts turns into a life with an entitlement mentality. If the person doesn’t actually get what the person didn’t earn himself, the person flies off the handle or gets whiny. He’s entitled to the things you give him for free, despite the fact he never earned it. The other person, the person who doesn’t get hand-outs, that person is happy for what he has because he knows what he has is earned. It was through his effort that he received it, not by some charity mentality hand-out.

In the end, the more satisfied people are the ones who were told “no” — and had that “no” enforced. The more satisfied people are the ones who had to work for what they got and didn’t get “freebies”. The chronically angry, whiny, “entitled”, ungrateful people are the ones who had everything handed to them and were never told “no” — or were told “no” but it wasn’t enforced. This is just the logical outcome as far as Conservatives and Christians are concerned. To the bleeding-heart Liberal, none of it makes any sense at all. “It just isn’t fair.”

Via Hot Air, Bill Whittle provides a video showing more “entitlement” mentality and rage against the people who have more.

UPDATE: Via Patterico’s Pontifications, more evidence of the evil and depraved entitlement mentality that is the monster the Left has created.

3 Responses to “A Satisfied Life”

  1. Dana Pico said

    I guess that it depends on the kids. We really weren’t very strict, but, then again, we didn’t have to be. Our parenting style was to live the way we thought life should be lived: Mass on Sunday, we stayed married, we didn’t screw around, and we didn’t smoke or drink. It wasn’t that we didn’t just not drink around them, but we didn’t drink, period. Nothing ruins a parent’s instructions to his kids not to drink faster than him coming home drunk!

    We probably would have been more strict if we had needed to be, but we didn’t need to be. When discipline did have to be imposed, it was more effective because it was so rare.

    The results? They never came home drunk, never stayed out too late, were both graduated from high school, and both went into the Army Reserve.

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  2. AOTC said

    my mom and dad had rules. they followed the rules. we could choose to follow the rules. they were not strict with us. the consequences of our own behavior was what was strict. for instance, if you lied at school, fought, got into some trouble and got caught, mom and dad were not going to bail you out of that. if you did worse, same thing. when we got into trouble we had to take the consequences, yet mom and dad loved us more than their own lives. many do not understand this concept. it is crucial in understanding god, i suspect the concept of grace is learned later in life when you understand the sacrifice your parents make is well over and above any consequence you have paid for childhood misadventures. i think the concept of family teaches you about god, i suspect this is why the *devil* or evil wants to destroy or warp the family.

    as far as the dinner and food issue.
    my mom did not make special dishes for us, she made dinner. you ate it or you didn’t, your choice. LOL . we had a big family, lived rural, there was not time or money to make special food for each of us. i suppose if someone suggested her to make special food for each of she would have glared at them. LOL. there was work to be done, only so much time in a day, so much time in the growing season, so on…

    we knew we were loved, but not because we got to eat what we wanted. or do what we wanted. or have things we wanted. we knew because mom and dad were of the will and mind to make good on their commitments to each other and us. even if at times they didnt “feel” like it because it was hard.

    naturally we whined and complained about things not being fair once in awhile. and i will bet mom and dad had a few private knock down drag out fights about mom being too lenient and dad too strict. but god bless them they held a pretty strong unilateral front and completed the lifelong mission, 60 years. the nuclear family with its roles is a really cool thing, it cant be carried out to perfection by imperfect human beings, certainly, but it sure does come close to showing us the excellence we ought to strive for in this life and the hope of the next. truly, mom and dad sticking to their commitment, through thick and thin, and us knowing they would, no matter how crappy things might have seemed, was the strongest security and best gift we could have had as children. eating food we might not have liked, doing chores or taking consequences for bad things we did was a kind of displeasure that didn’t permanently scar.

    all of us kids are grown adults with families. bonded in love towards each other and strong as a family. over the years our love and respect for mom and dad and each other have only become greater. not because they were perfect or because we are, but because in spite of their imperfections * they pressed on with faith towards excellence with a steadfast commitment*.

    *************************************************

    “One of the worst results of being a slave and being forced to do things is that when there is no one to force you anymore you find you have almost lost the power of forcing yourself.”
    — C.S. Lewis (The Chronicles of Narnia)

    happy sunday everyone: 🙂

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  3. Very well said, AOTC. I can’t think of anything else to say but very well said.

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