Truth Before Dishonor

I would rather be right than popular

It Was The Best Of Times; It Was The Worst Of Times

Posted by John Hitchcock on 2010/02/20


Anyone who follows my blog knows my daughter, SGT Laura (who comments here on occasion), is with child. It is an unexpectedly glorious time for the Hitchcock family (and I’m still too young to be a grandpa). My mother and my ex, who for unknown reasons like each other’s company, will go down to Killeen, TX when my daughter delivers so they can help her out during that first bit of time. I will follow sometime thereafter. And that is what scares the tarnation out of me.

Let me explain. I am very much a “devil you know rather than the devil you don’t” kind of guy. Sameness is much more tranquil to me, so much so that it could be considered OCD. In my previous job, I had “my” parking space (which allowed me to be able to fully open my super-wide and super-thick door) and “my” seat in the break-room. If someone took “my” parking space, I was edgy. If someone took “my” seat in the break-room, I found somewhere outside the break-room to take my break. So this change is huge for me, even though it’s actually huger for Laura.

But that’s deep background information. It’s what’s gonna happen next that is horrifying to me, but something I’ve guaranteed will happen. In order for Laura to stay in the Army, where she has major plans and I want her to stay, she needs me. Once again, she’s depending on me and I won’t let her down. I work best when people depend on me. But where I work best and my ultimate fears are colliding this time.

For her to stay in the Army and to achieve her goals, she needs a “substitute parenting plan” for when she goes to the field or gets deployed, and I’m it. I have to move to Killeen. While I have, for the last 30 years, wanted to move out of Ohio, I have still been very edgy about it. Remember “sameness”? Now that my financial situation has absolutely and totally collapsed, taking my credit rating with it, “the devil I know” is the only solid footing I have.

In order to move down there, I have to quit my temporary job and once again have zero dollars per month coming in at a time where I have zero savings. I also have to sell my house (which is worth about 20k and I own free and clear) that used to belong to my great-grandparents. And I expect I’ll never be able to own a house again, due to my not currently having a collegiate sheep-skin nor the funds to get one.

But this could be a great opportunity for me; to leave a dying state and move to a vibrant state and possibly improve my situation by orders of magnitude. I just don’t know, and the not knowing is terrifying. I have a million “what ifs” floating around in my head.

Regardless of my own fears, my daughter needs me. And I am at my best when people need me. So I’ll be moving to Killeen to fill my daughter’s need (and obey her orders regarding her son) sometime in the near future. And that future is coming very fast. I need to be in place within 6 weeks of the birth of my grandson (the most beautiful baby in the world), who could be born within the week or in 3 weeks.

So, come Sheol or high water, I will be. And I’ll be scared out of my mind.

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3 Responses to “It Was The Best Of Times; It Was The Worst Of Times”

  1. Dana said

    We do what is required; that’s what makes us adults. We will, however, expect a lot of pictures!

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  2. LD Jackson said

    Congratulations on the new grandson. Is this your first grandchild? Tammy and I will be first time grandparents in about a month. Sometime in March.

    Hopefully, you will get things worked out so you can be in place well before you are needed for parenting duty.

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  3. Thank you.

    Laura told me how many pictures fit on a CD (it’s a lot but I forget the number) and she said when she returns to Iraq, she expects a CD full of pictures every week. She’s insane. In my 5 trips to Hawai’i, I took my camera once and didn’t even unpack it.

    Joshua Treyshawn is, indeed, my first grandchild. And Laura is getting anxious to meet him.

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